_MG_4721Blogging is completely new to me. As a teenager I tried to keep a diary , I don’t know if that counts. I suppose I lacked motivation and persistence. Never really knew what to write about. That’s not really true, though. I just remembered that I wrote things down whenever I was going trough things: when I had yet another fight with my mum or when my parents argued so much that putting on my headphones and writing stuff down seemed like the only sane thing to do.

So I guess I write when I am in a tough spot emotionally. Could that be it? It would explain why I turned to writing now.

How do I sum up my current situation? Here are some highlights:

  • Haven’t seen my husband in 7 months (long story-I will get to it at some point)
  • Live in my friends spare bedroom with my two cats
  • Recently found out that my husband has an Asperger’s syndrome
  • Going trough some unnecessary drama with the in-laws

I am not a one to wallow. I will admit I do have days when I feel very overwhelmed and don’t want to get out of bed. Most of the times however I manage to stay positive. It is not in my nature though. I am naturally quite negative. My husband always complaints that I always see the negative side of everything first. Which is true- I am a rather pessimistic person. The way I see it though is I would rather expect the worst and be proven wrong by something great happening then be taken by surprise by something horrible because I was expecting a positive outcome. Does that make sense? So it takes me a lot of effort to stay positive in my current situation. I am learning little by little. I have good days and very bad days but I keep going. As if I had a choice.

Look at that! I managed to write something. I quite enjoyed that as well.

Next time I will try to write about something slightly more cheerful. Will see how it goes though.

Advertisements